Is it you or is it me? Lately, I’ve been lost, it seems. I think a change is what I neeeed. If I’m looking for a chance? or to dream? Shortland Street.
And so, we begin Tuesday night’s Shortland Street recap. Things have got serious over on the Scotty side of the road with it turning out, despite his judgemental little mind, that his once drugged addled mother is now….a social worker! I AM SHOCKED! THAT A PERSON COULD TURN THEIR LIFE AROUND? I HAVEN’T HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE!
The Scotty family truly are a bunch of sad-sacks though, in the one family you have one in prison (although he was kind of reformed due to that whole prison riot drama), one who used to sell her body for money (although now she is reformed too) Mama Scotty, all choosing the Aunt Hazel over her rat bag kids, and Papa Scotty, who, if I remember correctly, was some kind of gambling fraudster who screwed over Shanti for money? Then there is Scotty. Good old Mr. Furious. I wonder if Tracey is questioning her future Scotty babies, all keen on black tar and prostitution.
Anyway, so Scotty and his mum Rena Owen are continuing their “you left me for the heroin” “I’m sorry etc” conversation. Suddenly some drug addict slices up her wrists in the waiting room and it is ACTION STATIONS. James “call me Scotty” is all “I know what I’m doing- I’m a NURSE!” and Rena Owen is suitably impressed. Over at the hospital Rena Owen meets Tracey and Tracey immediately becomes suspicious that Rena Owen is still doing the fairy dust. Tracey really needs to learn to trust a bit. One second she is all “Oh Scotty you gotta meet your mother again! Find her Scotty I can make it happen!” and then as soon as he does what she wants she is all “Hmmm be careful, you don’t owe her ANYTHING” and stalking her to catch her dealing drugs.
Meanwhile, Rachel has been a total bitch and bought the crapshack of Hunter, Bella, Brodie and Daniel out from under them “I’m your new landlord!”. Landlady. What a bitchy move, honestly. Its like if you asked someone to proofread your CV and then they applied for the job secretly and got it. And then was your boss. Rachel is all “you’re lucky! bitches!” and she tells them they have to move out while she makes the place Rachel-i-fied and she won’t even charge them rent during this time! What a horrible person she is. It turns out too that Callum is in on the big buy out and Hunter is, understandably pissed off. Naturally Rachel, in order to mollify Hunter, gives him $2000 as a “finder’s fee”. Brodie, seeing this, throws a big hissy fit.
Oh good. That horrible EVAN character is featuring in this episode again. Given that the writers seem to have no idea of what a normal 15 year old acts like he demonstrates his mutual animosity with Ula via poking his tongue out like a 2 year old.
and look how smug he is about it
Because this is how teenagers act Ula, in revenge, performs her own sweet face off
Evan continues to be a complete asshole by teasing Jasmine about her diary. “Dear Diary, why am I such an ugly loser when my big brother is so amazing” etc. All the while he does his obnoxious face twisting “acting” to prove what a giant loser Evan is.
Example 1:
Example 2:
Example 3:
and example 4:
This could really go on forever because all this kid does is mangle his face up into various ridiculous approximations of actual human behaviour. Also I think you can see his eyeshadow in the last one.
Anyway, predictably Jasmine leaves her diary behind at the cafe. Ula is lurking in the background still so I guess this will become something I am meant to care about? Don’t worry, this storyline is quickly resolved by Evan irresponsibly skipping his first shift at the cafe to search for Jasmine’s diary, which he finds in Ula’s greedy hands. Evan whines about how he missed his first shift, Jasmine forgot to text Murray so he knows that Evan will be late (not that that’s how you are meant to do things in the real world where your dad is not your boss). Murray yells at Evan. Evan says “stuff you!” and the Coopers continue their dreadful existance. This storyline actually takes up a good third of the episode so I have saved you some unwanted Evan face-time by summing the whole affair up in a few terrible sentences.
Anyway, our other main dramatic narrative is getting neglected with all this Evan-centric home and away type storyline: Tracey suspects Rena Owen is still a druggie despite her claims that she is now a social worker. Since Tracey is a naturally mistrustful and suspicious little beggar she snoops around engaging in weird and tense conversations with Rena Owen about various topics such as tonight’s dinner, dead Shanti, the small size of letters on cell phone screens.
and
and
Can you blame Rena Owen for being reluctant to come to dinner at the Scotty/Tracey digs?
Carrying on in the vein of VERY EXPRESSIVE ACTING in tonight’s episode Yvonne is SHOCKED to find out that a person could desert their teenage kids of the pursuit of the brown sugar.
“She left her kids! That’s waaaaaaaaaaay worse than my daughter who once straight up shot a man!”
It’s ad time and CELEBRATE GUYS cos the Countdown “smartshopper” ads are back on tv!
This guy really wants to sell you cherries. He is freezing some now until the big day!
Anyway, we are back at the hospital where Tracey has witnessed Rena Owen swapping an envelope of SOMETHING with some wired up schmecker by the lifts. Sadly however, before Tracey could get all nostalgic about her cop days and perform some kind of citizen’s arrest Maxwell shows up and distracts her with some (potentially improvised) drivel about missing hospital pillows. Rena Owen disappears maybe with some sweet drugs leaving Tracey all conflicted and frustrated.
Tracey does what comes naturally and tries to catch Rena Owen out by a manipulative stunt based primarily around coffee and everyone’s desire to procure one. Having convinced Rena Owen that she will shout her a flat white an/or an instant coffee Tracey pretends to have left her eftpos card in her locker. Rena Owen is all “oh I will buy them for us…my bag is so full of junk” and Tracey is all disapproving because as we all know “junk” is a slang term for DRUGS. Rena Owen is all “I probably shouldn’t say that in case you think I am serious” and Tracey does in fact already think she is serious. The naughty envelope falls out of her bag and Tracey demands to see it. Inside is a syringe. OH RENA OWEN! Tracey thinks this means that Rena Owen is hooked again BUT I think she is just supplying clean needles to drug addicts so they don’t get horrible diseases. I am sure this will be the topic of discussion for days (or weeks) to come!
And there we have it! I am predicting the christmas finale/cliffhanger to be the resolution of this missing pillow fiasco- the people they want to know!
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