Shortland Street March 23rd: Isaac's mum says "funky"

Last night on Shortland Street: Isaac straight up murdered Uncle Garth. Seriously, what?

Tonight: PSYCH! Actually Isaac DIDN’T kill Uncle Garth. Mid sobbing homicide he stops, suddenly unable to follow through with his darstadly deed and instead cries softly at Garth’s bedside. Garth lives to ramble on another day.

While Isaac sits weeping a creepy hand suddenly reaches out of shot and touches him on the arm. It is pretty unnerving

Especially when we get to see who is attached to that mysterious arm

It’s Isaac’s scary mum, all posh and ghoulish

Anyway, she mistakes Isaac’s post-attempted murder emotion as just plain “sad about Garth” emotions and sends Isaac off to get some tucker. I must say, I think the Isaac actor may be the best of the bunch. I think he is more than competent at acting. Well done, Isaac actor.

Brooke runs into Isaac in the corridor and he is all “I almost killed Garth” Brooke is all, “well ALMOST is okay!” and it is nice that Isaac has someone as morally bankrupt as Brooke to confide in. The moral of this story is that there is someone out there for everyone.

Jill is on some kind of health kick on Hunter’s behalf, all challenging him to races around parks and making  him delicious salads.

Roimata does this

In ED Tk and Roimata chat to this really ravaged guy who has sweet smelling breath and is acting all dodgy

While TK and Roimata chat about how dodgy he looks he steals a syringe and bolts out of ED, tailed by TK.

In the corridor Sarah, Callum and Brooke chat about the old days etc. Brooke’s exciting stolen research comes up and Sarah is openly hostile and suspicious about it. After all, Brooke is some kind of idiot, or that is Sarah’s reasoning anyway. Sarah makes some comments implying that Brooke is nowhere near smart enough to have figured it out on her own, rubs her ever-expanding belly for luck and strolls out of shot.

I was expecting that dodgy dude to bump into her and knock her off her feet, freaking out TK and sowing the seeds for romantic reunion. Oh, also at my job last night I served ex Shortland Streeter “Toni”. One day I might even get to meet Vasa! That would be nice. I would get her to yell at me while I film it for prosterity.

Outside the hospital Roimata runs into Hunter and Jill and regales them with the tale of the “scraggly guy” who may or may not be a criminal. Roimata wants to find him so he doesn’t die in some gutter from his diabetes and leg wound combo but Hunter thinks that since he looks dodgy and may be a nasty criminal then he they shouldn’t waste time trying to help him. Jill is displeased because she believes in the hippocratic oath. Although I am not sure if nurses take that? Either way, she wants to help the guy.

Later at the cafe Sophie enlists Jill into her pub quiz team and Jill tells Sophie about how she is mad at Hunter because of his harsh vibes. Sophie is all “yeah. That’s cos of Penny” and Jill is like “huh?” and so I guess we will get to rehash that old Penny/Paula plot again. I think we were all holding out for another retelling of that old gem.

Speaking of which, Scotty has been in “East Timor” for a long time now.

Unrelated but necessary picture

Isaac and his mother hang out in the “funky” Sugar cafe. Isaac’s mum is all “hey, you used to be such a spoilt brat and now you aren’t half bad! here, have your trust fund back!”. Isaac is all “man, life rules! just earlier today I almost killed my uncle and now I get all my money! Everything is turning up Isaac”.

In Maxwell’s office TK and Maxwell are engaged in business talk. TK wants to kick that revolution about ED back into gear but Maxwell has made a deal with the devil and agreed to stop being difficult in return for a pay rise and a promise from Callum to reopen ED in six months. TK tells him off and storms out while Maxwell thinks about boning Nicole later in an expensive hotel suite with his awesome new payrise.

Outside the hospital Jill is wooing Hunter with her picnic lunch. For his part he gives her a nice summary of the whole Penny/Paula debacle as well as that time he got stuck with a needle. As a result he has little compassion for “some people” who he thinks should be locked up and left to die. Jill isn’t sure what to say to that. She is probably still trying to digest the whole story about Hunter dating a girl who murdered people a lot. It’s actually a pretty good position to be in, she will look extra good when compared to a serial murder psychotic.

Since Isaac is now rich he decides to spend his money in the most predictable place possible: the trusty old I.V . Isaac tells Brooke that now that he has the money he is fleeing the country and that she should come along for the ride. He says things like “never work again!” and “Paris!” and Brooke is torn. Come on Brooke! Ferndale or Paris!? Does it really need to be mulled over?

Cut to the hospital corridors where Vasa and Maxwell are having it out about Vasa bitching to TK about how crappy Maxwell is. Vasa is all

and Maxwell is all

and basically they fight as usual.

Jill’s health kick sees her and Hunter playing frisbee in some weird forest. It’s all fun and games until Jill runs into that dodgy maybe-crim from before. Hunter is all “let’s go, they are bad people and not our concern!” and Jill is all “I want to help you!” and then that scraggly guy grabs Jill and menaces her with a syringe, no doubt full of bad criminal juices etc.

I guess we have learnt our lesson here, haven’t we! The only way to deal with maybe-crims with beards and leg wounds is to lock them up. Preferably without beds or food. That’ll teach em.Bloody bleeding heart liberals, etc etc.

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  • Jordanne

    These blogs are literally the funniest thing I have ever encountered. I am lol-ing in the library, which is a mortal sin when you are surrounded by first years dreaming of med school. Keep up the good work.

    God I love Vasa.

  • ferndale

    Thanks Jordanne! We love Vasa too! Tell the first years to study Shortland Street for their doctoring tips instead of in text books. Always a good plan I think.

  • Magrat

    I don’t know what’s more awesome, the recaps or the screengrabs.  The residents of Ferndale sure are a talented bunch of gurners.