Shortland Street, April 13: All about Winston

I haven’t watched Shortland Street in a week, who knows what secrets have been revealed?

Chris talks to a new girl about a “resection recurrent hemispheric astroblastoma”, then asks her what it is. She doesn’t know, and neither does Hunter. I don’t either! OH GOD DON’T GOOGLE IMAGE IT IT BRINGS UP BRAIN PICTURES OH GOLLY OH GOSH OH MY GIDDY AUNT. so it turns out that that big collection of words means brain surgery, which is topical because in another part of the hospital the spooky DHB ghoul is opening the neurosurgical unit! Gabrielle steps up to make a speech but then can’t because she feels weird about Chris and Rachel’s presence. Rachel rotates on the spot for a bit and also is dressed as Sleeping Beauty.

Chris then offers to introduce new girl Paige to Gabrielle. What he really wants to do is introduce his trouser snake to Gabrielle. Although they’re already pretty well accquainted HOHO! Rachel doesn’t like this one bit, but luckily Paige offers to do all her own introducing. She is so independent! meanwhile in the background, someone is wearing a cat?

Then Chris invites Gabrielle to dinner. Hunter invites himself too! HOT DATE, GUYS.

And here’s Sarah Potts waddling out of the elevator! She talks to a handsome man and then Brooke Freeman comes around the corner!!!!!!!!!!!! good GOD this scene is sexy. they are all such HANDSOME people, i think Brooke is slave-driving the man (who is called WINSTON)? Sarah don’t like that one little bit. Her new schtick is getting up in everyone’s grills about everything and I LOVE IT. She is my dream girl

Meanwhile there’s a hot date going on at a dinner place! Hunter asks Gabrielle why she isn’t talking about Zurich, I hope the twist is that she actually went to Geneva!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh god is this episode over yet? Callum tells Hunter to stop talking shop and then gives him this real hungry look. Maybe they will get together? there is palpable sexual tension. I guess now that Sophie is gone Hunter has no relatives to crush on so Callum will have to do.

Then Paige comes in and demands answers. ughghhg

Speaking of hungry looks, Winston sure does love the DHB gremlin!

At the flat, everyone is wearing the exact same outfit, Jill is extremely shiny and Hunter theorizes that Paige is dating Daniel just to annoy Hunter.

Him and jill are perfect for eachother because they both look like they’re made out of that stuff that they use to make those bendy muffin baking trays. Silicone?

Meanwhile, Chris is looking for Vasa! in a way i think we are all looking for Vasa. Gabrielle is especially looking for Vasa by the looks of things

she’s a yummy mummy. Chris is still jonesin’ for some of Gabrielle’s tender swiss touch. Tender swiss burger. yummy mummy. burger.

Then in the staffroom Winston offers Gabrielle a cup of something. I want a cup of Winston. Brooke’s like “hey bloody weird about that bald creepy glasses doctor saga eh?” while creepy Winston listens in also Gabrielle is like “why not get Durville back?” aw yeah

Also we changed writer halfway through that sentence LOL

Sultry, shiny Jill talks to Paige about how Paige may/may not be a temptress bitch or something, but instead only reveals Hunter’s increasingly strange neuroses

Gargoyle DHB guy wants to bone Gabrielle real bad.  He asks her out for a drink, she’s like “ho ho no” why is Winston always listening in on everyone’s conversations?  stop being a creep guy

ohman Paige is using Jill’s phone to trick Hunter and make him late for hangin out with Chris or whatever. WHAT A BITCH

Then this crafty lady walks down a hallway

Durville’s like “OH BROOKE” then Brooke evades him

Hunter has to be like “oh Gabbins I can’t do your surgery I got an emergency call” so Paige gets to chill out in surgery in his place?  Lucky her!

Durville begins this anti Brooke smear campaign to Winston:

and Winston’s like


Later on Winston (such a Winston heavy episode!) is hanging out at the cafe when DHB ghoul Shane Tucker shows up and is Winston starts quizzing him about why Luke Durville isn’t involved in the neurosurgical unit. He says “I want to pick your brains” and it comes across very literally.  Shane Tucker is really sinister and sneers “we can’t always get what we want”(I think he means Gabrielle?)  and stalks off leaving Winston to chow down on some delicious kiwifruit/ZESPRI

Hunter storms around the hospital until he runs into Jill and he is all “WHY AREN’T YOU INJURED OR DEAD! I THOUGHT THERE WAS AN EMERGENCY!” Jill is like “what?” and then they realise that Paige is a bad, bad girl! Hunter strides off to confront her mid brain surgery.

Brooke and Winston are hanging out in her office when Luke Durville comes in and announces that he is back on the payroll. Brooke is enigmatic about this news.

Meanwhile, Paige has been sitting in on the stolen brain surgery and is getting a good tutoring by Gabrielle. Suddenly Gabrielle is all “BAD NEWS WE GOTTA SHUT UP SHOP” and they have to stop the surgery. We are taken to a sad little room where Chris and Gabrielle are breaking the no good news to two family extras. It is all very grim and Paige pipes up “Anyone want a cuppa?”. They do. She leaves the awkward room and is accosted immediately by very-angry-Hunter who is ragin’. She’s like “um, Hunter, not now” but Hunter is beyond reason- he rips into her hollering to all of the hospital about what a sneaky little wench Paige is and how it is super low to using Jill to get herself into some hot hot brain surgery.

Mid rant Chris storms up to Hunter and tells him about the tragic family sitting mere metres away hearing every word Hunter has bellowed. Hunter is like “awshit” and Vasa gives him an admonishing look just to cap off the shame.

Tomorrow on Shortland Street: Will Gabs get back with Dr. Love? Will Sarah rub her belly? Will Winston eat another fruit on screen? Only time will tell!

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An excellent gift for the kids!
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  • Hi

    resection recurrent hemispheric astroblastoma. Google that and the TVNZ logo comes up!

  • eclairs

    my god that winston is a stone cold fox. i hope he eats more fruit, that’s a fairly erotic screencap.