Last week was a little disappointing. The public has unsurprisingly voted Big Dane Moeke into the grand finale for his bland performance while the judges pick Jessie Hillel’s average operatic performance over the frenetic dance moves of Connor Massuers. I’m underwhelmed.
Tonight we’ve got five more acts to vote on and I’m afraid the line-up is about as convincing as last week’s.
First up is the singer who sang one of Rachel Hunter’s ex-husband’s songs and made her cry. I’m confused as to what we’re supposed to think Tawaroa Kawana‘s talent is. Is it his singing or his uncanny likeness to a certain Sonny Bill Williams? Perhaps he could pitch himself as “Singing Sonny”. He’s all decked out in a suit tonight and has ditched his guitar and instead takes his place at a piano. Perhaps his talent is being able to play multiple musical instruments now? After his sombre performance, Jason tells him that he just doesn’t know if middle New Zealand will get it. I doubt they will. Unlike any normal mother, Rachel tells him that she was nervous for him until he stepped towards the front of the stage. Ali hoped New Zealand could forgive his song choice and didn’t think the suit and piano suited him.
Ali’s comments were interesting in that Tawaroa was his favourite audition on the show. I suspect he’s never heard anything similar to that before because all the hundreds, if not thousands, of other kids in New Zealand who strum their guitars and sing bland songs aren’t on the charts, let along radio. There’s a very good reason for that.
When we first saw Chris Olwage, he was wearing a tutu and ballet shoes. I say that because most of you were probably noticing other things. He’s interesting and different which makes him an actual qualifier for this competition. I do find him a little awkward despite his ability to do things with his body that just shouldn’t be possible for a man.
Jason loved that he is exploring the edges of an art form while Rachel just loves him. She must comment on his physique and does. Ali didn’t get him at first but does now and I think they’d be happy to have him in Las Vegas.
Rosie Roulette definitely has talent and is another one of these characters who have a quirky personality that makes them stand out. She’s good and may make it to Broadway one day but that’s still going to take a lot more than winning New Zealand’s Got Talent.
Jason thinks she’s crazy and clearly someone who polarises opinion. He also thinks she has one of the best voices in this competition. Rachel thinks there is no doubt that her name is going to be in lights. I’m pretty sure the folk Jason was referring to would disagree. She then adds, strangely, that she wanted something a bit different. Um, Rosie is different? I’m confused. Did you want a Noo Zillund bland version of her? Ali tells her she belongs on Broadway.
Like Andre Vegas last week, Chelsea performed on Prime’s version of New Zealand’s Got Talent and I can’t help but wonder if there are any other acts who have managed to perform on multiple seasons of a Get Talent show somewhere else in the world. Dogmatic is a fun act if you like dogs and the tricks are bound to have small children attempting to get their puppies to walk backwards in exchange for treats. If you’ve seen one dog act, though, you’ve seen them all.
Ali buzzes the act out and just doesn’t look into it while Jason gives a standing ovation. Ali’s comments are funny. ”I just don’t like dog acts. I haven’t come all this way to sit and judge animals. It’s not a talent. If you give a dog a treat it will do something back.” Ouch. Rachel disagrees that it would have been very hard to do. Jason is a self-confessed dog lover. And then come the jokes about the show going to the dogs. And with that, it has.
The final act of the night annoys me. The only talent that 91 year old Olivia Turner has is that she sounds like every single person’s grandmother. That’s not a talent, it’s a torment. She sings “My Way” and will no doubt have viewers fumbling over their smart phones to txt vote for her despite having no commercial appeal what-so-ever.
All three judges give her a standing ovation as though it’s the performance of a lifetime. Can you imagine the sore legs they’d have after an afternoon of karaoke at the local retirement village? Jason thought it was magical, glorious, uplifting and inspirational and that it was as though the song had been written for her for this show. Jason seriously needs to get out more as there have been plenty of better performances of that song by far better singers. Rachel thought that she is the show and was amazing. What is amazing is all the unrealistic positivity. Ali thinks she might be the winner of the competition if she picks up the grey vote. Perhaps for the finale, if she makes it, her act could simply be a 91 year old using a cell phone to send a txt message.
Of tonight’s acts there are really only two that deserve any true recognition. Chris Olwage and Rosie Roulette. I suspect it will be Olivia and Tawaroa who progress though.
Next week looks like it will be a good, entertaining show with some of the best acts all in one group. It’s a little unfortunate for them really as they would have been better had they been split between the last 2 weeks.
Next week’s acts are:
Lili Latham, J Geeks, Evan Sinton, Hitmen Percussion and Monica Orbe
If you want to vote for any of these acts you have until 12pm on Tuesday to do so.

