TV Blogger's blog

Dishing The $$$ – Election Funding Announced

The electoral commission has announced its funding spread for election advertising, here it be:

Labour Party, National Party: $1,000,000
Green Party, Māori Party, NZ First: $240,000
The ACT Party, Progressive, UNITED FUTURE: $100,000
So, just over $3,200,000 for more of this,
& This
Money well spent? You decide.

For the details on the parties that really needn’t bother, and more Politics, Media & Election Coverage visit Politico.co.nz

TVNZ Violates Electoral Finance Act.

The state broadcaster is wasting no time with journalistic integrity and balances this electoral season, and why should it?
It’s no secret the government has decided to review the future of the Network and the Nation’s broadcasting, just prior to this year’s election.

Smart executives like CEO Rick Ellis (terrified of being clipped by the Network’s Executive office swing door) have sprung into action.

The group has taken a dry-hump ad in the country’s left-wing landmine ‘Canvas’ (an involuntary weekend pullout of the NZ Herald).
The full-pager targets the Green/Labour collective effort of eradicating Section 59 of the Crimes Act (The anti-smacking bill). Loaded with more emotive writing than a Jane Austin novel, the extract got its message across loud and clear.
‘Vote for the hoody wearing, pot-smoking, prostitute frequenting left, or the children get it. ‘

It might float well with the Pull-out’s publisher, liberal mag-hag Michele Crawshaw.
But this was published under the guise of advertising for the Network’s misplaced TVNZ7. Of course after seeing the TVNZ7 logo (accruing less than a column inch) you don’t need a Phd or an IQ over 30 to get the Missive.

Furthermore, the mention of the TV Network wasn’t the only thing that had gone AWOL in the ad. In complete breach of the Electoral Finance Act, the endorsement (as pictured) fails to be authorized by… ANYONE!
What’s more, even if it were, the network hasn’t listed as a third party contributor to electoral advertising, so it could be endorsed by Helen herself and still have no teeth.

Therefore, now the State’s own broadcaster has violated the ‘Electoral Finance Reform Act’ along with the government itself, their hemp-clad comrades the Greens, and NZ First.

No doubt Green Party habitual hazard Sue Bradford will be going to the effort of framing this full-page endorsement between bong-hits and composting her copy of the nation’s ‘Canvas’ rag-mag.

For our part, we’ll be filing a formal complaint with the electoral commission first thing Tuesday.

For a full copy of the advertisement and more Politics, Media & Election Coverage visit Politico.co.nz

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Top 50 TV Chart (Ratings) For the past week.

1
Border Security
TVONE

2
Stars In Their Eyes(NZ)
TVONE

3
Location Location Location
TVONE

4
Medical Emergency
TVONE

5
Animal House(NZ)
TVONE

6
Fair Go
TVONE

7
Sunday(PM)
TVONE

8
Coronation Street
TVONE

9
One News
TVONE

10
National Bank Country Calendar
TVONE

I probably shouldn’t have even filed this under TV2 & TV3 also – neither of them even appear in the Top 10.
What an awesome week for TVOne.

You can see the full Top 50 here.

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THRONG EXCLUSIVE: A fly On The Wall At The Country’s Private TV Networks.

A day of Morning TV Turmoil:

Morning television is a contentious elephant in the room of most of this country’s (large & small) TV Networks today.
As a special treat for throng readers we’re going to become that elephant. We’ve planted some of the most credible and seasoned journalists amongst the two struggling networks, these are their stories.

Day 1:
There was an airy silence through the halls of Prime’s Albany Headquarters Monday, and not just because the Network’s 3 employees took their smoke breaks at the same time, or because they finally forked out enough dosh to rid the building of Rats the size of house cats.
No, on Monday Prime embarked on a daring new programming strategy aptly named – ‘No infomercial left behind’.
More on that story later.

Across town all was not well at TV3 either. A variable who’s who that of New Zealand Television ad sales were desperately pouring through the Network’s latest Audience numbers for its Morning TV massive missive ‘Sunrise’ . If sales staff thought things were already rough in this economic environment, things were about to get worse, a lot worse!

The morning Conference call with the network’s parent conglomerate ‘Ironbridge Capital Inter-galactic Worldwide National limited’ revealed Sales at the company’s trash division (Envirowaste) were going to the dumps, so to speak, and its backpacking division wasn’t doing much better. The verdict was in, the revenue shortfall had to be made up – at the TV Network.
The problem, there was only one empty timeslot, the one timeslot advertisers refused to touch without a Pumice scrub down and a Penicillin injection afterwards… ‘Sunrise’

Here’s a Rush Transcript of TV3’s morning sales meeting’
‘Good luck’ yells seasoned ad exec ‘ 18-49 year olds’d rather watch Hi-5, Aladdin, or ‘How I sponged bath’d your grandmother.’
Relax yells another, ‘do you have any idea how well we rated with 2 legged balding, golden retrievers last week.’
Reply: ‘Sure, and do you have any idea what I had to do to sign that Purina Spot?’
Junior sales exec pipes up: ‘I know, I’ve got it! How about we get Sunrise to do a story on global warming saying that if anyone takes any trash to a landfill again the whole of the Auckland CBD will be submerged by 2010.
Senior Exec: ‘Not bad, make sure you get them to ‘ad’ something about if Helen doesn’t win in ‘08 then we’ll be taken over by Social engineering psychopaths ruthlessly dedicated to ruining the country.
Junior Exec: ‘Ummm Ok, but why?”
Senior Exec: ’What do you mean ‘why’!”
Junior Exec: ‘Ok ok, but what should we do about the Backpackers?’
Senior Exec: ‘That’s easy, that’ll be where we’re all living if this $hit don’t float’.

The Aftermath.
Day Two:
It’s becoming clear, no one is coming back to Prime H.Q. to turn the ‘Today Show’ back on. After a number of enquiries to the Sky TV Help Desk by both our reporter at large and Throng correspondents we were simply told an ‘installer’ would be out by the end of the day. These ‘installers’ never came to turn the ‘Today Show’ back on and the only humanlife left here are two chimpanzees to rotate Guthy Renker infomercials and adult movies on the Playboy & Spice channels. Undercover reporter: signing off.

Meantime across town; the TV3 sales meeting was called off this morning. It seems one of them caught a story on ‘Sunrise’ about Auckland being submerged in garbage by 2010. Sales staffs are taking the opportunity to relocate to higher ground (Parnell Rise).

The conclusion to our extensive reporting, Prime TV in its current incarnation, (not unlike journalistic integrity or broadcast television) is Dead. Sunrise should be, but isn’t yet.

Disclaimer: If you were the target of any of this satirical content, it wasn’t meant to offend outright, it was supposed to give the odd person a smile, and then offend outright.

To the readers: some of what you read here may not be true, take solace in the fact that like most of what you see on TV3 or One News – it is based on a true story.

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PrimeTV to Viewers: Go Away, No – Seriously!
So here’s the low-down. Prime TV canceled the Today Show, and it’s all YOUR fault!
On Friday ‘Today’ scored a 5.6 share in ratings of all 5+ during its time slot. That is slightly less than the people that left their TV on after the first 5 minutes of another Coma inducing ‘Sunrise’ – which pulls a 7.6. That sort of share (for Prime) is actually pretty wild.(given it blows in almost every other time slot. My guess, there’s three reasons for this move – NONE OF WHICH INCLUDE RATINGS, or the LIVE NATURE of the programme.
1. The Today show budget dwarfs Prime’s entire programming budget- Three Times Over.
It’s just too expensive to license.

3. PBL (Today Show/ Channel Nine Owner) no longer has an interest in Prime and doesn’t have any desire to aide the Newscorp Empire in making Prime succeed after its own disastrous tenure as part owner.

2. Prime has had their News budget cut leaving the Young, Clarkson & Rowe trio to: write news stories, edit news stories and present news stories, whilst fighting off the latest bubonic plague rat infestation at the Albanian warehouse.
Basically the convo would’ve gone a little something like this.
TV3 to Sky:,”We’ll sign a content sharing agreement(for pictures)… BUT we want a credit and you have to stop Sunrise drowning by pulling the plug on the already saturated morning show market. Advertisers have already put Sunrise on ‘DEATHWATCH’ – and there’s only so much morning karaoke viewers can handle (when they have an alternative). You must kill the alternative, Capiche?”
Prime To TV3: “Okay, Okay… Deal – before we leave, do y’all have a spare VCR? Ours is on the fritz and there’s only so many “Proactiv” Infomercials we can get Andrew Mulligan and the cleaners to re-enact (live-to-air) before people start asking questions.”
Anyways – that’s how I guess it went down ;-P

Maybe it’s a combo of all 3. Still, Prime shouldn’t insult its loyal viewer viewers by blaming them for not watching, or the live presentation format.
Scheduling infomercials and re-runs of a program that no-one watches at 7 o’clock, or again at 1 A.M. is surely more resource intensive than dropping ads into a live feed.

Prime, whats say you save all of us some time, Just put up a test pattern!
8am: Home Shopping
9am: Fresh Cooking (R)
9:30am: Crowd Goes Wild (R)
10am: Home Shopping

Argh, I see… My mistake.

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BREAKING NEWS: Campbell Practices Journalism – Stunned Nation Applauds.


See The Clip Here.

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3News: Ratings In The Shizzle.
One News is finally making a comeback in the ratings, but here’s why.

With any luck TV3 Head Of News, Mark Jennings will realize you can’t keep relying on ‘The Veterans’ (Kate Rodgers, Bob McNeils & Stephen Parkers) to prop up the devastating effects of the Adam Rays, Jesse Peachs & Kate Lynchs of NZ Journalism.

3News lost Libby Middlebrook (Although a hideously cold person – a very talented reporter), Mereana Hond and Stephen Parker- to an extent. Not to mention Cliff Joiner & Antony Stevens who are both now on One News. TV3’s feeling it.

They had potential with Ali Ikram, but any credibility he had… has now been decimated with some bizarre Karaoke feature on Sunrise – I could be wrong, has anyone even seen it? ;-P

Plus, There’s still been no reigning in of Catastrophic Campbell. With his more than questionable urinalistic practices.

Most Importantly,
The biggest reason 3News is faltering:
People are over the labour bias. It worked when the population was still majority pro-labour, however as every opinion poll comes in favouring National, people are getting pissed with the haunches of the arc over @ 3News (producers like Angus Gillies) painting everything with rose coloured glasses. We all know that’s just not the case. It was the same issue when John Campbell & Carol Hirschfeld were controlling 3News. Once Hillary & Mike moved in and Producers like Mike Brockie centre-lefted the bulletin 3News went crazy in the ratings.

3News still has SOME promise. Sacha on Sunrise is fantastic if you can make it thru the abominable Coleman interludes :-S. Lachlan Forsyth stemmed the loss of A LOT of South Island viewers (who could have easily deserted with Cliff Joiner). Jennings really needs to call on Rebecca Singh (If available), Both McNeils, Solina Theron, Geoff Hampton, Wilkinson and Robinson to prop up the Weekday bulletin. ASB Business also has a very talented reporter who’s being wasted in a timeslot that nobody’s watching.

I’m not sure it’ll happen; well until it starts bleeding onto the Network’s bottom line.
Ironbridge is notoriously bullish when it comes to under performing business units.

There was reportedly a ‘situation’ last year when hosts on the Company’s radio networks were ‘strongly advised’ to be only promoting programming on TV3 or C4.
Whilst it makes economic sense it does raise some questions about the seemingly non-existent line between corporate governance and creative independence.

What was the point in going off on that tangent then?
To illustrate the determination of an ‘Old Media’ conglomerate like ‘Mediaworks’ to succeed.
In short: Canwest might have persevered with an under performing 3News, but IronBridge needs it to do well in order to promote its online assets like 3News.co.nz !

Still, makes you wonder if they even have a chance in ‘New Media’ when there’s people like throng contributors out there willing to write online content(however poorly) for free;-P

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The Top 10 Chart Of The Week’s Most Watched Shows.

1
Border Patrol (R)
TVONE

2
Coronation Street
TVONE

3
One News
TVONE

4
Shortland Street(PM)
TV2

5
The Longest Yard
TV2

6
Close Up
TVONE

7
Property Climbers
TVONE

8
Cold Case
TVONE

9
Criminal Minds
TVONE

10
McLeod’s Daughters
TV2


For The Full Top 50 Chart Visit giggli.co.nz

TV’s Top 50 Shows – The Highest Rating Shows on FreeTV

1
Border Security
TVONE

2
Rapid Response
TVONE

3
Shortland Street(PM)
TV2

4
One News
TVONE

5
Coronation Street
TVONE

6
Kiwi Kitchen
TVONE

7
Madagascar
TV2

12.0
8
Doc Martin
TVONE

9
Close Up
TVONE

10
A Tribute to Sir Edmund Hillary
TVONE

For the Full Top 50 Chart Visit Giggli.co.nz

Heath Ledger Found Dead, The Australian actor who was nominated for an Oscar for his performance in the critically-acclaimed movie Brokeback Mountain, has been found dead.

The former Home & Away Actor was pronounced dead at 3:26 p.m. in his downtown Manhattan residence by his housekeeper, who discovered him in cardiac arrest and called 911, a Police spokesperson says.

Full Story @ www.giggli.co.nz