Last time on Shortland Street: Luke was suspended for being a cabbage head, Jennifer took off departing Ferndale forever, Maia begged Nicole to take her back and finally Nicole’s gay-hating mother turned up at the door unannounced and bizarrely okay with the whole lesbian thing.
We open tonight with a scene featuring Yvonne and Shanti’s mum who are having another one of their chit chats, this time at Sugar. Shanti’s mum is again rambling on about Yvonne being perfect for her office manager role in Sydney. Yvonne, unsurprisingly, has decided to turn down the overseas dream job because of some misplaced loyalty to lone Ferndale dwelling daughter Maia. Yvonne thinks that her twilight years are better spent busybodying into Maia’s life and feeding that kid sizzlers than making money, friends and a better life in Sydney. Shanti’s mum won’t take no for an answer and tells Yvonne that she will keep the job open for her. Yvonne is torn-cheating convicted murderer? Or Sydney with Shanti’s mum?
Over at Maia’s house Nicole’s mum is busy being all sweet with lesbianism “I was shocked when I found out about you and Nicole. I just didn’t understand your lifestyle. I have now come around to the idea! I thought to myself, Maia is obviously worth all the trouble she has caused so it is about time I got to know her! So here I am!” So basically she doesn’t like the lesbianism but she is open to the idea. Kind of.
The orderly drama of last night continues to unfold before our eyes. Daniel is scandalised by the whole thing which seems to revolve around the idea that the orderlies will be upskilled but get the same pay or something. The orderlies are all bummed out because it means they might have to reapply for their jobs or something. Not to mention their very unflattering uniforms. There is this pretty commanding speaking extra guy. He seems like he should be in a Shakespearan play.
This guy: Amazing presence and diction.
Oh hey! Roimata’s in the house! She is hanging in the staff room and has strong opinions on this orderly business. She is some kind of union revolutionary!
Back at Maia’s house of ill repute Yvonne has arrived to become a pawn in Maia’s games and sure enough she soon becomes entangled in this Maia/Nicole shomance thing.
Nicole’s mum demands to be shown around the hospital so she can see where they work. Nicole is all “OH NO!” because, you know, the entire hospital knows about Maia’s dalliances due to Nicole’s public meltdown the other day. Nicole mother insists and is only distracted when Maia throws herself in the firing line and sacrifices herself to “hanging with mother” duties while Nicole works. Geez, Nicole’s mum is like some kind of gay investigator.
Mama Miller (did you know that was Nicole’s last name? I didn’t!) then continues her weird demands by telling Nicole that she must kiss Maia and “not to spare her blushes”. Maia and Nicole then share an awkward kiss. Mother looks on approvingly.
This mother is as confused about sexuality as old Jennifer Mason!
Today Maia and Nicole are using green millk. Other days, I have noticed they use the light blue kind. They are fickle.
Remember how last time Roimata and TK spoke she told him her sweet position on race relations? Well they haven’t changed Roimata is NOT into Maori men. TK thinks that sucks cos he would quite like to hit that.
In Sophie’s office this whole orderly plotline is ongoing. Daniel hams it up a bit and there is a lot of “babe” talk between Sophie and her man.
Meanwhile, outside the hospital TK continues his Roimata charm offensive. He wants to chat to her about noro virus. HOT. But before TK can really get his sexy on some dude shows up on a motorbike and Roimata hops on all sassy and sexy. She waves to him like “see ya later chump” and TK does his grin thing he always does and kind of licks his lips. TK likes this challenge. There’s never been a woman TK couldn’t wrangle if he put his mind to it.
Yvonne and Nicole’s mother hang out again at Sugar where Nicole’s mother says that since Yvonne and Nicole are both “Mothers Of Lesbians” they can call themselves MOLS. Then Nicole’s mum says that she thinks Maia is pretty okay, for a lesbian, and that she “has the patience of a saint”. TELL THAT TO ETHAN PIERCE, NICOLE’S MUM! Anyway, they begin to get into the good old “nature or nurture” debate about sexuality but before it can get interesting the scene ends.
In ED Maxwell and TK joke around about how much TK wants to bang Roimata. She comes back from her lunch break on motorbike and TK resumes his non-stop flirt fest. It ends, again with the patented TK glance. THIRD TIME TONIGHT!
Over in Callum’s hospital room Sophie trots in and starts talking orderly plotlines. Turns out she has decided not to quit her sweet job anymore. Back in Rachel’s office she informs Rachel that she wants to refer to Callum as “Callum” instead of Dad. Rachel is pleasantly surprised at Sophie’s change of heart. Sophie tells Rachel that one day she wants to be just like Rachel. That is going a bit far, Rachel has to be an idiot not to see that she is being buttered up like a roast dinner. Sophie is pulling some kind of “keep your enemies close” routine, and we can see this because she does that shifty smug look the characters do when they are playing games.
Back at Maia’s house Nicole and Maia are bonding over their deceit. They are going to have dinner with Mother and in order to keep things smooth Maia suggests they invite Yvonne as a diversion. Nicole then suggests that if things get really bad then there is always Maia’s “nut allergy”. Is this meant to be some kind of freudian slip or is it a very subtle lesbian joke?
Over at the hospital cafe it is NEW NURSE ATTACK! New character Jill is in town!
She’s british and knows Roimata. She is introduced to TK who says “YO!” and gives her the eye. TK acts really weird and gives her the sexyvibes real bad. LOVE TRIANGLE ALERT! Jill declares herself a “free agent” and TK clicks his fingers like five times at them before returning to pay for his apple or whatever. It wouldn’t be a TK scene though if he didn’t turn around for a bit of over the shoulder male gazing while an extra looks on
At reception Sophie and Daniel chat about how Sophie has decided to keep her job at the hospital and will be passing on confidential information to Daniel and the union. Daniel is all “my own undercover spy” and Sophie grabs his ass and seductively promises to show him some of her “undercover tricks”. Just as this mating ritual gets into full gear new nurse Jill appears on the scene, exclaiming “DANIEL POTTS!”Daniel lets go of undercover minx Sophie and embraces Jill who promptly splashes Sophie with water from her mizone bottle. Daniel is all “what are you doing here?!” and she says “making your life complete you big hunk of a man” (?) and then grabs him and plants a big wet one right on his lips.
And with that we end our episode. Will Sophie’s undercover tricks beat Jill’s accent? Will Maia and Nicole decide to continue their luke warm journey towards the grave? Will the orderlies ever find happiness?
Only time will tell!