I had written an entire entry of this while watching the show. Then I accidentally closed my browser window, deleting everything I’d just written. I am very annoyed. It was a very good entry. Sort of.
LAST TIME ON SHORTLAND STREET Gabrielle was like “hey Shane Tucker let’s have dinner” then she started making out with Jonathan, who is blind, also, he used to be gay. Maybe he isn’t now. Advice?
TONIGHT’S EPISODE opens with Gabrielle and Jonathan still making out, implying that they’ve been at it for nearly 24 hours now. Then they’re like “let’s not make out” and then they start making out again. They decide that they are now a couple, and they will be making out again in future.
Over at the hospital, Hunter is helping this real sickening looking orderly:
Feeling real queasy just looking at the guy. Anyway, “Dr Sutherland” comes in and demands Hunter does some doctor stuff or something
In the staff room, Tracey refers to Sarah’s unborn child as “bubby”. The word “bubby” is one of those things. If anyone uses the word “bubby” for a baby, it’s a sign that I will never be friends with them, no matter what. It’s the kind of thing that tarnishes a person permanently in my mind. Like people who say “PC gone mad” or the name Terry. Nothing’s worse than meeting someone, getting along real well with them, and then discovering their name is Terry.
Oh yeah, there’s some awkwardness because Sarah is having a kid and probably doesn’t want one, while Tracey wants one real bad but can’t because her womb is about as barren as the Gobi Desert (yeah the Gobi isn’t that barren, but it’s my favourite desert. What’s yours? Let me know in the comment section)
Hunter’s on the phone abusing Paige on the phone for being a real shitty med student. Then Hunter accosts Daniel, who’s in the hospital for some reason (why?) and demands that he goes and sees Paige in person.
TK, Shavaughn from What Now and “Dr Sutherland” are all good friends now or something. ehhh hey someone mentions Jill’s gone? Where is she? I suppose she was putting on her sweet play in Wellington when they filmed this or something. I didn’t go see it, even though I live real close to the theatre. Like, I was just a couple of blocks away from Jill from Shortland Street. Can you imagine it?
Anyway, Daniel’s found Paige and they’re in a park, where she’s real buggin out with drug withdrawl and yelling about “loud birds”
Phwoar, 60% off super deals at Briscoes! Definitely know where I’m heading after this
Back at the hospital, voyeuristic cameraman is filming Tracey and Sarah talking about “bubby”:
like anyone would be interested in their conversation
Anyway, then Tracey talks to Sarah like she’s a child, and leans over to directly address “bubby” itself:
I’M SO EXCITED
Hey, because I follow “Shortland Tweet” (clever!) on Twitter, I’ve learnt that the show’s ritalin stand-in “roytocin” is named after the show’s writer Roy Ward. This makes for excellent viewing if you exchange all instances of “roytocin” in the script with “Roy Ward”:
Paige: I don’t think I can get through medical school without Roy Ward.
And so on. Well, it seems funny to me. The other day my girlfriend sent me a text saying “hey we should have brunch”, and I sent her a text back just saying “no”. I also thought that was really funny. Turns out I’m kind of a jerk.
I’ve finally worked out what Shane Tucker looks like: an Easter Island statue. Anyway, he’s all angry and stupid about how Gabrielle doesn’t want him anymore, and has moved into a relationship with … Roy Ward
Gabrielle: Things have changed.
Shane Tucker: Because of Stevie Wonder here? What, he just called to say he loves you?
That’s actually my favourite dialogue I have ever seen on Shortland Street.
At hospital reception, Wendy helpfully informs her daughter and Nicole that she would love to make out with a photograph of TK. Then Bella embarrasses everyone by yelling about Shavaughn from What Now’s bridal shower right in front of Sarah, who’s still in a huff about the whole thing, I guess
<3 u forever Bella
Over at the IV, Shane Tucker goes over to Jonathan and starts talking to him about how he’s an asshole or something, and that he shouldn’t be sticking it to Gabrielle, because he’s an asshole or something. I don’t really understand it, but I mean, I never really tried.
Daniel goes over to see Sarah to talk about Paige’s crippling addiction to Roy Ward.
Sarah: I take it your friend has been taking Roy Ward recreationally.
Sarah recommends Paige talk to Shane Tucker about her sweet drug problem, which is always a good move
Gabrielle and Jonathan come home from their sweet date (it seems to be night time now, though I think they just had lunch?) and Jonathan’s like “let’s not make out again”. Gabrielle is very clever and surmises Shane Tucker has got his greedy face in their relationship and gets all angry and stuff
Paige and Daniel have a coffee and talk about how she’s a junkie and stuff. Bloody love coffee.
Racist old “Dr Sutherland” comes in to ED and tells TK he needs to wash some poo off some guy, or something. TK’s feeling real persecuted for whatever reason, but he’s just kind of a bitch, really and Shavaughn from What Now is fed up:
Anyway, then Tracey starts handing out invites for Sarah’s baby shower, and you wouldn’t believe it but it’s the same night as Shavaughn from What Now’s bridal shower! What a coincidence!
Gabrielle goes over to talk to Shane Tucker about how much of an asshole he is, and leaves him feeling like kind of a jerk, probably. She did, after all, “put together two and two, and got one big bully”. So four is a bully?
Shavaughn from What Now and Sarah childishly argue about shower dates and it’s like “ladies please just be nice” you know? Man I don’t want any tension anymore. Hey, didn’t Winston kill a guy or something? Why isn’t that being covered this episode? As much as I love a nice shower, murder’s a lot more interesting
Paige goes to talk to Shane Tucker and she’s like “hey DID U KNOW I used to be a junkie?” and he’s like “GET OUT I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOU”. Man, he’s a jerk.
Paige: It’s withdrawl
Shane Tucker: From caffeine, or something?
Paige: Roy Ward.