Father Ted

7:00pm Saturday, December 24 on Prime


Fathers Ted, Dougal, Jack and Mrs Doyle prepare for Christmas on Craggy Island. The usual nightmare of Christmas shopping becomes a reality when Ted and Dougal find themselves lost in the lingerie section of a local department store. The embarrassment is compounded when six other priests are revealed to be in the same fix. Luckily, Ted’s leadership qualities and initiative save the day and all the priests escape the predicament undetected. His reward is a Golden Cleric – the BAFTA of the Catholic world. So prestigious is the award, however, that some priests will go to any lengths to procure one…

Question: Why do they advertise UK ex tv DVD shows on free to air TV

Answer: because it is the only entertainment you will get these holidays 

I just spent $2.20 inc GST on “TV menu book” for my first few week on holidays, what a waste of money I should of – and I strongly recommend you should put that money towards DVD’s 

On the front coverf it had “FOR ALL YOUR CHRISTMAS VIEWING” I wrote under it “I dont think so” this was called “The TVGUIDE” I renamed it to “The SHITGUIDE


go to page 36 and 38 and write SATURDAY under Christmas day

go to pages 46 and 48 and write SUNDAY under Boxing day

go to pages 96 and 98 and write FRIDAY under New years eve

(I just think this makes it so much clearer when looking for the right page)

The only worth while programs that gripped my taste buds was a REPEAT of “Father Ted” & “The Vicar of Dibley” well what can you say? I hope smoke pours out of my TV it will be the only entertainment I will get watching TV.

HELLO, HELLO “IQ10” department of the local TV stations who put together what gets put on TV we dont all have heaps of money to spend to go away!!!! go to you doctor and get some IQ pills to improve your IQ

7:30pm Friday, October 1 on Prime


The Old Grey Whistle Theft

The arrival of rebellious young priest Father Damien Lennon coincides with the theft of the whistle owned by Mr Benson, the picnic area supervisor. As law and order breaks down on Craggy Island, the local police force, drawing on the sort of resources Morse and Frost would envy, reaches one conclusion – a priest done it.

7:30pm Friday, September 24 on Prime


Tentacles of Doom

Father Ted receives word that the Holy Stone of Clonrichert, Craggy Island’s most popular religious knick-knack, is to be upgraded to a Class II relic. Three bishops arrive on the island to perform the solemn ceremony and Father Ted is determined that Father Dougal and Father Jack be on their best behaviour.

7:30pm Friday, September 17 on Prime


Think Fast, Father Ted

It’s quite simple – in order to fix their leaky roof, Father Ted gets a car to raffle. But then there’s a bit of a problem with the bodywork and he, Dougal and Jack borrow another one from the Dancing Priest. But how are they going to get it back after it’s been won?

7:30pm Friday, September 10 on Prime



Tonight the priests take themselves off to their annual holiday in the Kilkelly Caravan Park. Unfortunately, the place’s attractions, ‘The Magic Road’ and ‘St. Kevin’s Stump’, are marred by a suspicious couple living nearby, an over-excitable youth group and more rain than the average monsoon.

7:30pm Friday, September 3 on Prime

Grant Unto Him Eternal Rest


Sister Mulligan’s visit to Craggy Island ends in dramatic style after Father Jack drinks a bottle of floor polish. And dies. With Jack’s friends flocking to the island for the wake, Ted and Dougal find their grief tempered by the knowledge that he’s left them half a million pounds! There is, however, a catch: to get their hands on the cash they must first spend the night in a vigil over Jack’s body. A period of quiet reflection quickly descends into utter boredom, and then a game of charades. This ends abruptly when Jack rises from the dead to scare the bejaysus out of them. (It seems the floor polish brought about all the symptoms of death, but not actually death itself.) The money’s gone but at least Jack’s back. Which is a silver lining. Of sorts…

7:30pm Friday, August 27 on Prime


And God Created Woman

Temptation comes to Craggy Island in the shapely form of womankind, as Ted struggles with the twin temptations of satisfying a horde of nuns slathering over his latest Mass and indulging his own passion for Polly Clarke, his favourite writer and author of bonkbuster `Bejewelled with Kisses’. As it turns out, Polly is using Craggy Island as a place to get her head together after the break-up of her marriage. Much to Mrs Doyle’s disgust, she spends the night at the Parochial House, and her womanly wiles beguile Ted – who completely gets the wrong end of the stick. Confusing their literary conversations with a come-on, he cuts short his famous Mass and heads to Polly’s cottage for a romantic dinner a-deux. As it turns out, Polly’s actually invited him to her housewarming, along with Dougal, Jack and a gaggle of nuns severely disappointed with a certain Father Curley.

8:30pm Friday, August 20 on Prime


Competition Time

Ted’s plan to win the All Priest Stars in Their Eyes look-alike competition (and take a precious fiver off Father Dick Byrne in the process) gets off to a bad start when both Dougal and Jack steal his idea and also dress as Elvis. Ted’s hopes of victory rest on impressing this year’s judge and host of the popular Morning Quiz show, Henry Sellers. Plying him with tea and sandwiches seems to be the obvious trick, until exposure to Mrs Doyle’s sherry leads Sellers to reveal exactly why he was sacked from the BBC. Having rescued the now feral Henry from running wild across the island, the competition is back on. It culminates in a head-to-head clash between Diana Ross (plus two Supremes) and The Three Ages of Elvis, featuring Jack as the bloated, cheeseburger-eating King.

8:35pm Friday, August 13 on Prime


The Passion of St Tibulus

After a night gossiping with Father Hernandez over the longest game of Cluedo in history, Ted and Dougal find themselves bullied into being moral crusaders by Bishop Brennan, with disastrous results. His Holiness has banned the blasphemous nudie film The Passion of Saint Tibulus, but due to a legal loophole Craggy Island is the only place in the Catholic world that can show the film. The Bishop now wants Ted to launch a public protest that will make the Church’s disapproval crystal clear. After a research trip, Dougal is confused by what St Tibulus was doing with that man’s banana, but not as confused as Bishop Brennan when he realises Ted’s protest has given the film a massive publicity boost…